I had been
playing a game, a game that I could never win. For as long as I can remember I had
always made decisions to please the most people possible, even if it was at the
expense of my own happiness. My mindset was always; if I put others first then they
will never have a reason to judge me. I rolled the dice of life and it landed
where the paths split, I could either choose my relationship or my parents. I
tried to choose both, but it took an emotional toll on me. I couldn’t win with
either; in the process I lost all directionality in my life. At this same time
I was getting serious about surfing, it was the only thing that comforted me.
Deciding to take surfing serious was the first decision I made for myself. I
live for the adrenaline that pulses through my veins when I paddle, when my
determination to charge into the face of wave takes over. I live for the moment
of having complete control. When it’s just the wave, and me, I feel that I have
won the game. To quote the movie, Chasing Mavericks, “this is about more than
just surfing, it’s about finding what sets you free.” Surfing did set me free;
it gave me the strength to break away. I didn’t have to choose my parents or my
relationship because I chose me. Every decision I now make I consider my own happiness
first. The dice are now in their hands, they can decide how they want to see
me—I am leaving the game. I considering surfing to be my lifesaver, because of
surfing I am a stronger Individual.
I believe that
putting yourself first is the only way to live your own life.
(Word Count: 300)
