Saturday, October 13, 2012

Leaving the Game


I had been playing a game, a game that I could never win. For as long as I can remember I had always made decisions to please the most people possible, even if it was at the expense of my own happiness. My mindset was always; if I put others first then they will never have a reason to judge me. I rolled the dice of life and it landed where the paths split, I could either choose my relationship or my parents. I tried to choose both, but it took an emotional toll on me. I couldn’t win with either; in the process I lost all directionality in my life. At this same time I was getting serious about surfing, it was the only thing that comforted me. Deciding to take surfing serious was the first decision I made for myself. I live for the adrenaline that pulses through my veins when I paddle, when my determination to charge into the face of wave takes over. I live for the moment of having complete control. When it’s just the wave, and me, I feel that I have won the game. To quote the movie, Chasing Mavericks, “this is about more than just surfing, it’s about finding what sets you free.” Surfing did set me free; it gave me the strength to break away. I didn’t have to choose my parents or my relationship because I chose me. Every decision I now make I consider my own happiness first. The dice are now in their hands, they can decide how they want to see me—I am leaving the game. I considering surfing to be my lifesaver, because of surfing I am a stronger Individual.
I believe that putting yourself first is the only way to live your own life.

(Word Count: 300)

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